The Worst Celebrity Themed Pinball Machines of All Time

Written by The Bad CPA   |   Thursday, April 24 2008

Not even Roy Clark's visage on the playfield could keep the machine from being a total flop

Although celebrity tie-ins with pinball machines have been a part of the industry since the outset (as evidenced by the 1930’s “Man-o-War"? in honor of the legendary race horse) the heyday of the genre was during the late 1970’s and early 1980’s. Until that time, celebrity references were either by inference (“Bonanza"? from 1964) or somewhat tongue in cheek (1967’s “Beat Time"? featuring those lovable mop tops “The Bootles"?). The release of the film version of The Who’s rock opera “Tommy"? launched the era of the licensed celebrity tie-in and itself spawned two high influential machines (Bally’s “Wizard"? featuring film stars Ann-Margret and Roger Daltry, and “Captain Fantastic"? based on Elton John’s role as ‘the pinball wizard’).

For the next twenty years, pinball machines offered a tangible proof of “having arrived"? for the celebrities they featured. As the 20th century drew to a close, this measure was somewhat diluted by the purchase of pinball manufacturers by large entertainment conglomerates, most notably Columbia Pictures who owned D. Gottlieb and Company for a time. This resulted in pinball machines rushed to market featuring the current would-be box office hit, particularly in the sci-fi/adventure genres. Despite the decline of the pinball industry, the one remaining manufacturer (Stern Pinball) continues to focus on pop culture themed machines including “The Sopranos"? and “World Poker Tour"? that reflect what’s popular with the game’s heavily male audience.

The many celebrity tie-in machines have resulted in some less than inspired choices. Below, a list of the worst of the celebrity themed pinball genre. Note that this list is based on the celebrity tie in alone and not on the qualitative merits of the machine:

5) Phantom of the Opera by Data East (1990): The Andrew Lloyd Weber Broadway adaptation of “Phantom"? was red hot and what goes together better than Broadway shows and pinball? Just about anything, actually. Since the 1910 Gaston Leroux novel is in the public domain, they based it on that hoping to capitalize on the Broadway version’s popularity without having to work out a deal with them. The result is a bizarre mish-mash of generic “Phantom"? imagery, including a Christine Dae likeness for which the backglass artist’s daughter served as the model. Making this otherwise fun machine even more bizarre was the recurring sound effect of a whip hitting flesh followed by an anguished scream. Unless there’s a pinball playing segment among the Broadway show fan and/or sadist demographic I’m not aware of this is a real head scratcher.

4) Rescue: 911 by Premier Technology (1994): Rescue: 911 was a big hit TV series at the time of the game’s release. Think a less exploitative version of “Cops"?, but featuring real life footage of firemen and paramedics performing rescues. As a bonus, it was hosted by the venerable William Shatner. The game was fairly entertaining, featuring a helicopter that would “rescue"? the ball with a magnetic “lifeline"? and fly it to “safety"? on the other side of the playfield. At the root of the theme, however, was the creepy reality that they were equating a pinball game with real life disasters and human tragedy.

3) Mike Bossy, The Scoring Machine by Gameplan, Inc. (1982): Only the fact that this game never officially got released due to Gameplan’s financial struggles keeps it from finishing at #1 or #2. During the early 1980’s there wasn’t a more dominant hockey team than the New York Islanders, who won four straight Stanley Cups from 1980 to 1984. Despite having talent at every position, the Isles offensive weapon was undoubtedly Mike Bossy who scored 50 goals or more in 9 straight seasons. Even so, the Islanders may have been the “quietest"? dynasty in sports history and with their success coming before Wayne Gretzky reignited the popularity of the NHL hockey was very much a “niche"? sport. Making matters worse was the backglass, which was little more than a big image of Bossy’s face with no other identifying characteristics like his name or team logo. Bossy was as solid of a scorer as has ever played in the NHL , but I’d speculate that at least half of the team’s season ticket holders during that era wouldn’t have been able to identify it was him on the backglass.

2) Dolly Parton by Bally Manufacturing (1978): A pinball machine themed around Dolly Parton is probably not what the teenage and 20ish males who played the game were looking for. At least this can be partially explained away due to Parton’s enormous popularity at the time. It also has the mitigating factor of being a pretty good game and was relatively popular for Bally, as it enjoyed a production run of nearly 7,500 units. It still begs the question “Were they unable to reach an agreement to get Cher’s rights"??

1) Roy Clark ‘The Entertainer’ by Fascination, Inc (1977): The only way to account for this machine is to understand the prevalence of drug use during the 1970’s. I would have loved to have been in on the pitch meeting for this:

“Here we go gentlemen: a Roy Clark pinball machine. (sniff sniff) Do you smell what I smell? I don’t know about you but I’m smelling money."?

Clark is by all accounts a good guy and is held in very high esteem by his fellow musicians. But even in 1977, he wasn’t anything of a “draw"? to the pinball audience which skewed heavily toward males in their 20’s. Making matters worse, “The Entertainer"? was a small, cocktail table style machine which was another short lived industry trend.

Even stranger is the fact that this was the 2nd Roy Clark themed pinball machine to be released that year. Allied Leisure Industries released a number of a country music themed game called “Ho Down"? with Clark’s likeness and the name “Roy Clark Super Picker"?.

Even Clark’s long running TV series “Hee Haw"? had its own machine, although it was an unlicensed 1973 game with some very poor likenesses of Grandpa Jones and Buck Owens on the backglass. I’ve spent a lot of time researching the history of pinball and haven’t been able to uncover a country music subculture within the industry. From these machines, as well as our #2 selection, you’d definitely think otherwise.

Next time— the best celebrity themed pinball machines of all time.

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