SavSci Book Reviews: 'Choke' by "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk and 'You Suck' by Christopher Moore

“Choke� by Chuck Palahniuk 304 pages by Anchor Publishing, 2002 

Victor Mancini is a ruthless con artist. Victor Mancini is a med-school dropout who's taken a job playing an Irish indentured servant in a colonial-era theme park in order to help care for his Alzheimer's-afflicted mother. Victor Mancini is a sex addict. Victor Mancini is a direct descendant of Jesus Christ. All of these statements about the protagonist of Choke are more or less true. Welcome, once again, to the world of Chuck Palahniuk.

"Art never comes from happiness." So says Mancini's mother only a few pages into the novel. Given her own dicey and melodramatic style of parenting, you would think that her son's life would be chock-full of nothing but art. Alas, that's not the case. In the fine tradition of Oedipus, Stephen Dedalus, and Anthony Soprano, Victor hasn't quite reconciled his issues with his mother. Instead, he's trawling sexual-addiction recovery meetings for dates and purposely choking in restaurants for a few moments of attention. Longing for a hug, in other words, he's settling for the Heimlich. (Publisher's Weekly)

 

Victor Mancini isn’t your typical twenty-something year old by a long shot. He finds himself stuck in a proverbial choke hold between his troubled past, his dismal future and his torturous present. Ironically enough, he possesses the strength and wit to release himself, but finds this task daunting due to the fact that his crazy as a loon mother manages to still keep her thumb on his pulse. 

The product of multiple foster homes (from which Mommy always “springs� him), Victor has no real stability, no real home, and no sense of normality whatsoever. Mommy embarks on maddening and sickening adventures, with her son always in tow. Victor tries to see the good in her, and it’s difficult at best. If nothing else, when very little remains, he’s left with a confident yet disturbing sense of self and decides that he should make something of his life and embarks on a career as a doctor. 

Part way through med school, he receives news that his mother is in frail medical condition and is in need of constant care. Once again, his mother has sabotaged any chance he has for a normal life. Victor finds himself working at a colonial theme park set in the 1700’s. To make some cash on the side he devises a scam where he make himself choke on food in upscale restaurants so that those who “save� him will perhaps ante up some dough for the man they oftentimes see as their unfortunate adoptive son. His accomplice, Denny (whom he meets at a sexual addiction workshop), has just as many problems (if not more) than he does. As Denny attempts to walk the straight and narrow, Victor’s downward spiral unfolds, revealing the truth behind his real identity, and releasing him from his mother’s hold. 

Chuck Palahniuk’s writing will leaving you rolling on the floor laughing, though inappropriately and inadvertently… that is when you’re not exasperatingly pulling your hair out by its roots. If you’re a fan of the satirical, a fan of “Fight Club�, or just plain a fan of the weird, “Choke� is the book for you. Run, don’t walk, to your bookstore for this one, because it’s currently being made into a movie- and we all know how important it is the read the book first!

“You Suck� by Christopher Moore, 352 pages, Harper Paperbacks 2007

Moore's latest (after 2006's A Dirty Job) is a cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love. Nineteen-year-old Tommy is a bewildered hipster recently relocated to San Francisco from Incontinence, Ind. His sarcastic redhead (and bloodsucking) girlfriend, Jody, brings him into the fold of the undead ("I wanted us to be together," she says). Tommy, understandably, has mixed feelings; vampirism has its perks (you can turn to mist, live forever and the sex is awesome), but sunlight is death and blood hunger makes you do some pretty foul things. Also, the duo is hunted by Elijah, the ancient vampire who "turned" Jody and wants her back, and a band of Safeway stock boys/amateur vampire hunters known as the Animals (with whom pre–dark side Tommy once rolled). With the assistance of their devoted minion, goth girl Abby Normal, whose hilarious diary entries form part of the narrative, Tommy and Jody evade their pursuers, feeding at night and conking out at dawn, all the while learning how vampirism complicates love. Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page. (Publisher's Weekly) 

Demons, angels, blood sucking fiends, whores and the like- those are the characters that make up the cast of characters in Christopher Moore’s books. It’s almost enough to turn most people off- but not quite- so before you put that book down, read on… 

“You Suck� is the latest installment in his series of nouveau style monster slayer novels. There is C. Thomas Flood, a new vampire who’s recently turned by his red headed bombshell girlfriend, Jody. Jody was turned by the crusty old vampire Elijah, who has roamed the planet for centuries without having any real fun. Jody was to be his playmate. That kind of backfires on him. So our story starts with Elijah and Jody being held captive in bronze sarcophagi  by Tommy (not yet turned) until he can figure out what to do with them since he and Jody promised the cops that they’d skip town (this all happens in “Blood Sucking Fiends� which isn’t a necessary read, but helpful. Moore does a well enough job of bringing you up to speed so that you can read his books out of succession). 

Add Tommy’s posse (the Animals- infamous in Safeway frozen turkey bowling), a blue prostitute, a gothic princess and her drama laden queen friend to the mix, and you’re ensured a more than interesting time. 

If you’ve never read any of Moore’s work, you should. At best, it’ll have you in stitches. At worst, it’ll bring a smile to your lips- even on a really shitty day.