The Ultimate Fighter Heavyweights: Week 5

Written by Mike Wilkerson   |   Saturday, October 17 2009

Justin Wren and Wes Sims duke it out during their Episode 5 fight on 'The Ultimate Fighter' (Photo: UFC)

Viewing Date: 10-14-2009
Show Title: Ultimate Fighter: HEAVYWEIGHTS Week 5
Network: SpikeHD
Reviewed By: Mike Wilkerson

There's never been an episode of The Ultimate Fighter on SPIKE that's had such an uphill climb before it ever aired. Last week's Episode 4 of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights was not only a great episode, but one of the best of all time, showcasing the best and (mostly) worst of what can happen in the professional fight game to a fighter dropped into a coaching scenario - that doesn't really want to. We find out more about that, we see one of the question-mark-making fights, and wonder exactly how many coaches were assigned to this season's show. It's all taking place here in week 5 and we encourage you to chime in and tell us what you think about this episode of season 10 of SPIKE's The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights!

As with many of my online reviews, I'll be reviewing this episode in a "stream of consciousness" format, giving you essentially what I'm thinking as the show airs. This is the best and surely most one-of-a-kind opportunity for you to  chime in and tell us what you think about this season of Spike's The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights and be sure to listen to our TUF Tally - a quick, no-holds-barred call of this episodes fight via the Savage Style Podcast!

-- The Danger of Cortisone: For those that don't yet understand how cortisone works, you're essentially numbing the area to get past the pain and discomfort associated with an injury to continue "on" - "gutting out the pain", and getting through the current task. What's missing from the overall equation however is that while the pain is subdued, while you can continue to function in relative discomfort, the reason you're feeling "pain" is because your body is registering injury and compensates to deal with it. Swelling is the body's way of immobilizing broken parts to help reduce physical damage and if you can't now feel the pain, you've no reason to stop. That means that the damage your body was trying to tell you about and help you avoid WILL occur with absolute certainty. It's a dangerous little mix of hope, paycheck and desire in the NFL, and it's a gamble MANY players never recover from. Let's hope Matt sees the light or is truly just faking it all.

-- Zak is a Puss in Boots? We'll find out more in this episode to be sure, but DAMN - the first thing Rampage calls Zak in this episode is a Puss in Boots? I guess I'd have framed the episode or previous episodes differently to showcase his lack of work ethic/experience, but then that dives into another problem area for me. The people here in the Ultimate Fighter - are supposed to be ULTIMATE fighters. When I see people diagnosed as losers and of insufficient skill as Zak, I have to wonder: How many OTHER, skill, talented, ready-to-work/have the skills already fighters were TOTALLY BLOWN OFF for this season of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights? Why aren't we seeing THOSE fighters instead of the strangely social, not-nearly-as-talented fighter we have in Zak?

-- Zak is a TURD at Practice: I almost spit up my Diet Dr. Pepper while drinking it when I heard this. Again, the point without beating a dead, anti-social, not nearly as skilled as others horse here is that there ARE and should have been other fighters to showcase here.

-- Nasty Flashback for Sure - Wes Sims reminds us what and idiot he is: First, let me start off with this isn't a I HATE WES SIMS" rant here. This is a revisit to the sophomoric retard-based schlepping that I thought we were done with in season 9 of The Ultimate Fighter. Here Wes Sims claims that he stepped in human ejaculate left in the shower by Zak. Huh? Didn't we already beat (so to speak) to death last season and find it not funny, not entertaining and a reason to trumpet what we DON'T LIKE? The only reason it was worse was because Wes has clearly been hit in the head too many times or was dropped on it as a child too many. Somewhere the path doesn't cross the bridge to the cottage.

-- No Seat-belts in the Van? Please note, that none of the participants of this season's The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights are wearing seatbelts while traveling in the vans. I hadn't noticed this until now after reviewing another article about "MASK" - the now sadly very DEAD former host and co-founder of TapouT Fight Gear. Remember folks - in a crash, you are an egg in a steel box. The steel box will win if you aren't secured into your seat and the steel box is cold, has no feeling and is unforgiving.

-- The 4 syllable "Dummy": The word "Dummy" isn't supposed to be a 4 syllable word. Somehow, through the strength of too many punches and - apparently sniffing glue - Wes is able to stretch it out to 3. Congratulations on being a champion of something memorable, Wes Sims.

-- "Duh Champ is he-uhh three, duh Champ is he-uhh, duh Champ is he-uhh..." In a clearly-overcompensating-for-previous-idiocy move, Rampage walks in with Wes Sims claiming ""duh Champ is he-uhh"overcompensating for being completely missing in action for two of his fighters both in their pre-time of need and their post, "you lose, bitches" time of need.

== General Fight Prediction Vibe:

-- Wes Sims clearly needs a different doctor's prescription for psychotropic drugs/medication. While he's larger, remember, so was King Kong, who climbed a building and let himself be shot to death by miniature bullets. I smell girders and the cold indifference of pavement.

-- Justin Wren seems small, but terribly determined. If there was a mini-viking Vs a pedestal-less gomer effort - well wait, here it is :)

Tonight’s fight will follow the same format as previous seasons, with 2 5-minute rounds, and should it be tied at the end of those 2 rounds, there's a "sudden victory" round that will decide the match.

TONITE'S FIGHT BEGINS

== Wes Sims Vs. Justin Wren

Round 1

Both fighters are determined as they step toward the center of the cage in week 5 of SPIKE's The Ultimate Fighter Heavyweights. Right off the bat, Wes Sims is tossing jabbed leather with his left fist into Justin Wren's jaw but there's nothing there. Wren feints a left jab and semi-shoots to the clinch and takes Sims to the cage wall. Sims uses thundering heels to bash the top of Wren's feet and Wren offers a few hello stomps of his own. Sims offers a couple of short underpowered uppercuts under the clinch and as they pommel over and under the knees come - from both sides with no power in general.

Sims gets in a right forehand bitch slap and moves off to his right with Wren in pursuit. Both fighters are fresh as Sims lands another telegraphed long-distance jab and they circle left and Sims tosses through a loooong left front kick that leaves his torso open to attack: Award-winning Greco roman wrestling Justin Wren gets the body lock on Sims and sucks Sims to the ground like a faulting soufflé and quickly moves to side control. The fight looks a ton like two weeks ago against Kimbo but how can that be - Sims has ground game does he not?

As Sims tries to escape underneath, Wren jumps to North South, a very dangerous position for Sims against someone that has so strong an upper torso as Wren, and - there it is - Wren moves to full mount without a blown being thrown from either side and maneuvers his right hand behind Sims head and begins the telltale crossover to - yes it looks like the cinch is in on a very tight arm triangle by Wren. Wren cranks on the arm and throat and moves to opposing side control. The lights are flickering inside the mind of Sims as referee Herb Dean keeps a very close eye on the breathing and response of Sims as Wren continues to crank down on the neck and throat of Sims. Wren re-clinches fists and lowers a shoulder into the cinch and much like both the Boston Red Sox and St. Louis Cardinals in this year's playoff dead-ends, the lights are out in the stadium - even more so than before the fight started - that is Wes Sims.

Winner: Justin Wren wins by Arm Triangle, putting to sleep Wes Sims in a bout that - if able to continue for another several seconds, would have essentially put the audience to sleep as well.

-- Rampage offers no support - again: As we started this review, you'll remember that compared to the previous episode you see much of the same "bad sample" from Rampage, enough to make the previous episode a "what not to do" reel for potential coaches of The Ultimate Fighter in future seasons. This episode provides the same vibe, but it's simply not nearly as satisfying because there's nothing LEARNED here. It's the same, distasteful flavor from Rampage that should not only make US unsatisfied, but the people that comprise his team

-- Team Rampage? If you've ever wondered what Rampage thought of his "team" watch what kind of care he bestows upon his TEAM RAMPAGE jersey. There's a whole lot of symbolism there that screams everything you'll need to know about him for a long time to come.

-- Dana says Rampage isn't doing his job: So now you've got the fans telling you Rampage isn't doing a good job, you've got the people that comprise Rampage's team telling you that he's not nor will he be a "coach" but Dana White, president of the general fight game enchilada on the planet is telling you with both barrels how worthless Rampage is at this point. I guess I'm missing something, including the reason that he's left to be the coach. Sure, it's fun to see people crash and burn sometimes, but when you're devoting 10+ weeks to watch, review and then pay for a gargantuan pay-per-view on the tail end of all of this? That's not acceptable, folks.

The Savage Science Moral: Let this be a lesson to the people that create The Ultimate Fighter for SPIKE: There CAN BE and currently IS too much of a bad thing in Rampage this season. if you were to not show much of him and only focus on the fighters the rest of the season working with the assistant coaches, we AND the fighters would be much better off. Let's hope that they saw the same thing in the reels I see and mention here and give Rampage a less significant role for the rest of the season. This is all about TEAM, and while Team Rashad is giving a solid sample, I've no idea what's going on with Rampage, other than IMPLOSION.

The Savage Science Quote: "I'mah' thinkin' 'bout goin' ta' jail..." Rampage Jackson Is this supposed to somehow be "ominous?" I don't think that Jackson understands that when he showcases clear lack of effort, knowledge and support for his fighters, that he looks like nothing but an uneducated, uncaring ass that cares about one thing - himself and his reputation (which for me is worthless at this point). His continual reference of the bad things he's thinking and "goin' ta' jail" because of them offers up some clear whys to his police chase and arrest previously. All of the positive things that the UFC and fighting have given him erode instantly when he says things like this and it shows how little he's grown and evolved. That's really sad.
-- Overall Show Rating: As is always the case, my point-by-point breakdown of this episode via this review has provided me some much-needed perspective. I had originally given this episode a 3 of 10 Savage Skullies, but we'll bump that to a 5. We see the decay of many things in this episode, but at the same time the growth and sprinkled skill sets of Justin Wren and hope of Rashad pull this one out of the tailspin for me. I do wish to tell the creators however that I expect more from an episode than this.

I'm still wondering what YOU thought of this episode and hope that you'll take just a moment to fill out the comment section below to tell us what YOU think, or send me your details to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Look for more here as THE SAVAGE SCIENCE continues to review this season of The Ultimate Fighter: HEAVYWEIGHTS!

THE SAVAGE STYLE PODCAST--THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER WEEK #5

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